i said no shit! NO SHIT!

oh BTW, the post before this has nothing to do with Emma... nor has this too...

just asking, if u ever wondered that i was once also a puppet?
with no pupetter with me except God,
till u came along, with intentions to help me but i guess it wasn't

it was when i was fresh
way before any real self-esteem came over to me..
when i was still new and barely alive in this new world...

but somehow i found my way,
i wanted to show myself,
to show that i'm worthy to be with u
that i'm also good
n i don wanna be look-down by u no more..
cause everyday in the past,
i felt darkness clouding over me,
pushing me further and further
into the water,
drowning me
closing the blinds against the light.

but then i learned to swim,
to swim against the current,
to grab hold of what was holdin me down,
n i hold on to it,
hard..

why?
because i had died once and no more am i going through it again
why?
because i hate it down there
why?
because i finally found the light
and it was all too tempting and salvating for me to let go.

but then just like how i had grown,
the one thing i was holding to,
laying all my life to,
broke free from my hands
and did it once more
pushing me down

onli this time,
the water was deeper
and the current was stronger

i no longer shed tears
no longer whine
but instead,
my heart bled
and my soul died..