Princess
Friday, April 22, 2011 @ 3:59 PM
I wanna be Kate Middleton!!!! lolz. it's okay. i just wanna be a princess, that's all...But the funny thing is that they keep comparing Katie with her late mother-in-law. talking bout how Kate will never match up to Princess Diana's beauty. and i'm like errr... okay. cause personally, i think they both are pretty. dont understand all the fuss.
and seriously, the royal marriage is EVERYWHERE! Literally! it's in the papers, yahoo frontpage, TV; everywhere u turn, u see their faces.
i kinda pity poor Katie, smilling there for God knows how long. I think she has a personal face masseuse for her poor cheeks after all that grin. at every turn, she has to SMILE to everyone and anyone. i think she's very nice for doing that. *grins*
But then again, getting married to a king-to-be is a great deal to smile about...
hmmm...
Library
Thursday, January 6, 2011 @ 4:20 PM
Daniel made up this anthology for me but I thought it would be better if I share it with you guys. He used the thing that I love most. Books. So if your favourite item is not book, IM me, and I’ll make another anthology for you, only this time it is signed with my name and not Daniel’s. Whatever he said goes something like this:Close your eyes. Imagine you are in a bookshop or library (whatever your choice is) with only two racks. On the very last end of one of the racks lies your favourite book. In my case, He used the last book of Vampire Academy series. It wasn’t my most favourite book but it was a book I couldn’t miss after reading the first five of Vampire Academy novels already. Then, walk slowly, step by step, and tentatively between the two racks towards the direction of your favourite book. Bear in mind that as you walk, the racks surrounding you are filled with books. Heavenly books. All of Jane Austen, Nicholas Sparks, P.S. I love you, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Twilight Saga, The Poison Garden and lots and lots more interesting and fantastic books.(sorry, kinda ran out of books here) One question now. Will you stop? Will you stop, pull out one of the books there and start reading there and then or will you keep on walking towards your favourite book still waiting for you at the very end. Think properly.
You see, this is the same thing with life. Like I said, we’re all facing a dilemma. Constantly bragged by the question of this or that. This or that? In this case, the favourite book represent your dream job or course. The other interesting books on the racks are other options. Some of the books represent easier courses, others represent stable jobs. But they aren’t your dream jobs. So if you have stopped to read the books on the side instead of your favourite book, you lost the fight. You gave up your DREAM for something simpler and less meaningful to you. Is it worth it?
Nope. But we are still fearful creatures. One of the main reasons why we didn’t reach out to the last book is because we are scared of failure. So so scared that we always let our dreams slip away from our hold.
At seven, I was a Power Ranger. I was always either the yellow or the pink ranger. I was so sure I could save the world and the dream was further enhanced when I learnt Taekwondo. I was ‘pretty’, could speak English and knew how to kick ass. All I need was just an audition and ,bam!, I will be a Power Ranger. But then time passed, dream faded. I was no longer Power Ranger. No longer a small girl.
At twelve, mom told me about this cool job called air-stewardess. Continent jumping and pretty make-up, dang, I wanted it. It was a very cool job to me –and still is- with all the grandeur of travelling around the world for free in pretty uniforms and all you have to do is serve. I was ‘pretty’, on my way to be a taller girl (the height doesn’t really bothers me due to the existence of four inches stilettos) and I could speak politely. I mean, this job is mine! But then time passes, dream faded. I was no longer an air-stewardess wannabe. I felt uglier.
At fifteen, I was a writer. Fascinated by the linguistic world, I wanted to join in. I read books, strung verses of poetries, wrote stories and blogged. I was fluent in English than most of my peers at that time. I mean come on! I love English and I know English. How hard can that be, right? Since some of my peers really do believe I was that good. But then time passed, dream faded. I was no longer a writer. I felt stupider.
At seventeen, I was a Yale student. If I could score well in SPM, Yale shouldn’t be a problem with tons of hardwork and God’s blessing. Heck yeah, God said “For with God, nothing shall be impossible”. Go check Luke 1:37 if you’re not convinced. I wanted to be of an English Literature major with –if God permits- creative writing minor. Time passed again, dream started to fade again but this time, I have held on to it. God has written all his promises in the Bible. If God said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you HOPE for”, then I shall believe in Him. If two promises are not enough, there is another one in Jeremiah 32:40. In there, He said that He will never stop doing good to us. So fear not!
I write this today not to tell you what is wrong or right. But to tell me that I should take a leap of faith. Faith to me comes and goes. I am human so it is okay if it happens to me. However, that still shouldn’t be the excuse to not have a strong foundation of faith. As a believer of Christ, I shall believe in Him with all my heart and strength for there is no one who knows me more than He does or loves me more than He does. He himself is the epitome of LOVE. Originally, this post ended with a prayer but to me prayer is personal. Something between me and God only so i edited it out. That's all for this post. I end it with prayers that God may bless you too.
lots of love,
ashlyn
Cherry Chapstick
@ 3:15 PM
William: They say if your ‘fore-toe’ is bigger than your ‘toe-thumb’, it means you can no longer grow bigger.Hazelle: No! *crosses her arms over her chest* My poor boobs!
William: *blushes* No, no. Not that of course, that’ll grow. Just your height.
Hazelle: *blows out a sigh of relief*
Howdy everybody! The above conversation did take place but it was in Mandarin. I thought it was funny so I wrote it here. Now, I think it’s funnier in Mandarin. Anyways, ya, I have no idea what ‘fore-toe’ and ‘fore-thumb’ are supposed to be called. I merely replaced the word ‘finger’ with ‘toe’ because we call the ten pieces of metatarsal bones wrapped in muscles, skins and nails as toes and not fingers. Fingers are for metacarpals. (Did I get the bones’ names right?) No, the aforementioned William (originals names are replaced to protect the privacy of the victims) didn’t name them either, he just pointed them out to Hazelle.
Okie dokie! Now, how’s life? ^^ Bad? Horrible? Good? Wonderful? (wondering where is ‘fine’ here?) My life is…. Busy? I don’t know. I’ve been working! Ever since 15th of December 2010! I just finished my last exam that day which is EST short for English for Science and Technology. Watched a thrilling (thrilling is the entitled word for only the middle part of the movie, the ending is OMG! In a stupid way) movie called Skyline (seriously, the airplane is wicked!) that day. About 15 minutes to end, I was brought to shop. *sob sob* too bad. But it aint too bad when you consider the fact that I am working for my parent’s shop which is the ricebowl for my family and my future. So what did you guys do? Working or slouching at home?
Now that school is over, I found out that, I am a bit cut off from the other world. It’s a little bit weird but I am not complaining which is even weirder. Trust me; I used to be a desperate attention seeker, so not having many friends is a shocker. But I am cool. I still sms with Narv and sometimes Brandie. I call and sms Daniel everyday like always. I call Yashna once in a blue moon? And I see the church members during G2 or Sunday Church. Life aint too bad. I just don’t have time to socialize much. Am thinking of visiting the national library soon when I get my day off. Anyone interested to come with me?
Since that the above topics are gone and over with, let’s talk about the future. Gak! No! I am not a psychic. I am talking about ya know, tertiary studies. So, anyone made up their mind yet? For me, the most important thing is the result. Unless you are Shane, then you do not have to worry much but if you are not Shane and you are like me, well, SPM result determines everything.
A) It determines the scholarship you’re eligible to apply for.
B) It determines the University you’re eligible to apply for.
C) It determines whether you are going to cry happy tears or sad tears on that day.
So, it’s very important! I kinda wish the result would come out already. I just wanna get it over with. I am still in a dilemma. It’s about the future. I know everybody is going through this; sort of the exceptional one or two who are born with their future written on their forehead..There must be a lot of questions in all of your minds now. What should I study, where, when and can I or even should I? That’s a lot to figure out for a 17 years old but hey, they don’t call us young adults for nothing. I need an educational talk. Any idea to whom I should refer to about this super important topic? BTW, for those who still haven’t make up your mind. Fear not, for God is here! Ya, just pray to Him. He knows us better than ourselves and I trust Him enough to place my life at His hand. Whatever He does with it, I do not mind for I know I am in good hands. So eventhough I have my future in a rough sketch already, I wouldn’t mind if God have a whole different plan for me and squashes my imaginary castles in the air. He promised that He will always do good to us in Jeremiah. So, whatever He does, it’s for your good. ^^ Have faith everybody! I should have more faith too! Trust in your God, the Lord for He is Great!
That’s all for this post. Till next time, lots of phileos to whoever that read this. Means a lot to me that you guys stick with me and read my posts. Thank you.
Love,
Ashlyn
Hola?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010 @ 5:35 PM
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14I love the aforementioned verse and I have all the reasons to. ^^
Well, today is the last day… sort of. I have short of two papers to go but then no more science subjects!!! I am feeling quite disturbed right now. I feel depressed? I don’t know but I do not have the sense of freedom like everybody else. I feel kinda down. Perhaps it is because I still have two more SPM papers to endure?
But I think the main reason why I feel under the weather right now because I do not think I deserve it? I don’t know… I felt as if I did not work hard enough especially for my psychics to deserve this break or this sense of freedom. Plus, it aint really freedom. I heard that tertiary study is pretty hardcore. Nevertheless, I made it through High School. Almost…
I still do not feel seventeen-ish eventhough I have long passed my birthday. When I was in Form 1, I would look up to those in Form 5 and go “wow, they seem so cool!” Being seventeen myself this year, I don’t see anything cool about being seventeen. I am still me. Okay, fine… Maybe a slightly more matured me? But I feel dumb. I really do. Sometimes –ok, maybe everytime- I look back into my past I go like, “OMG! I am soooo stupid!” lol. Ok. Fine. That was a bit exaggerated but you get what I mean, don’t you?
But it’s over now. All I should do right now is move forth with a better personality. Hopefully, I can change into a better person. Someone great God intended me to be. …. Sorry, I am feeling quite speechless right now… I think I wanna go take a nap. I’ll blog again next time. Probably this Friday. See you soon!
P.S: sorry if this post is depressing ++
P.S.S: song for the day! “I will boast” by Paul Baloche.
love, ashlyn...
Forever More
Wednesday, November 3, 2010 @ 11:07 PM
Lolz. I don’t know the reason why I wrote forever more but it popped up in my mind and so I wrote it down anyway.For this blog, I just wanna shout it out loud that I miss writing. Heck, I miss reading too! (cry) it has been such a long time and hiatus. I keep pushing it away for the sake of education but I really miss the spirit in me. I read some essays a few days back and I felt the beauty of language during then. I wondered at that moment if I could ever write something like that anymore. SPM is gruesome! It kills people (well, we see suicide every year from those who failed BM right?) and it kills my creativity (i'm not the only victim!). I no longer could write as fluently as before. I get so bored! I still have stories and scenes running through my head 24/7 as usual but when I try to write it down, I feel so discouraged. But I shouldn’t be like that right?
I still remember that it was a few days after Deepavali when I was in Form 3 when I started writing seriously. Yash and I called each other’s house phone at like 1 am, talking about the plot for FMN. Looking back, the plot had been a little silly. But it's fantastic now with a few tweak here and there. We altered it a lot. Yash has like three version of FMN. I have 2? I have 2 plots though, that I am sure, but I couldn’t write as fast as Yash so I never did reach the three version of FMN. And ya, FMN is so dear to me. I love all my characters whether they are cheesy or not. I really wanna finish it after SPM. I owe it not only to Yash –who completed FMN- but also to Hazell; she deserved an ending. Oh ya, I wanna add here too a thank-you note to those who have helped me so much in writing. I never thought I would end up being so in love with this language. For a moment just now, I felt like I was writing an acknowledgment. Gak! Whatever, I just need to vent out.
So, thanks a lot to Yash who lent me Twilight Saga, quarreled with me endlessly, taught me the beauty of English though indirectly, understood my speechlessness and of course my silly theory of aura. And oh to my other writing buddy, Narv, my little Dan Brown! Lolz, he is so caring that he’s such a dear. Of course, there are other people in my life too that mean a lot to me like my parents, God and oh ya, Daniel who is always there no matter what. ^^ God bless all of them!
I’m smiling right now as I type, u guys mean a lot to me. I want to make this blog a private one but I know I have classmates who want to read my blog though they don’t have one so for now, it is still a public one. It is good too that I don’t make it a private blog, I need to face the public, be it a nice crowd or not. I’m starting to feel a sudden rush of emotions right now. I wanted to thesaurus emotions and use another word but my dictionary is out of battery so let just forget about that. And ya, for those whom I didn’t list down their name in here, don’t worry. U guys aren’t left out. I will always remember you, whoever you are and whatever you did to me. One day, if I ever publish a book where you are one of the inspirations for my characters, betcha I’m gonna put ya name right there. Ok, maybe not since I might make you a bad guy! (;P)
I don’t know. I really don’t know. That will be my answer if you ask me what I want to do after SPM. I have my future in a rough sketch; I’m still waiting for God to darken the lines for me though. I don’t know what to do, I hope God will show me the way and I pray that He will help you guys too. I have a bad foundation in English and I need to work on that now or ok, maybe after SPM. For now, all I know is that i want to do something that is related to my passion.
I end this post with wishes of all the best to all my friends out there! May God bless you and all the best in whatever you do –and ya, I’m talking about SPM here. I love you guys!
love,
ashlyn
Incoherent
Monday, September 20, 2010 @ 7:05 PM
we laugh, we cry, we lean on ya, we detach ourselves from ya, we live, we grow and we become... Teenagers...LOLZ. ok, i was just looking at my past emails and found out that well, i've changed a lot. everyone has. i guess all of us grew more mature in some sense, we learn how not to be pathetic, be stronger and be appreciative.
in this post, i don know how many people will read this. but i just want to say, thank you so much to all my friends for always being there. i know i don say it much but i really appreciate you guys... and yes, yash, i'm also indicating u here. thank you.
i remember, when i was in primary, the big deal then was, "Do you friend me?". Now, thinking back, i find it all a teeny bit pathetic. But it's true in some ways, that we shall always need a friend. but a true friend, well that's another different story.. and it's true. One true friend is worth a thousand of normal friends... i feel very incoherent right now.. so i'll probably post more when i feel...well more coherent. have a nice day. God bless...
dearest, Ashlyn...
i'm back!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 @ 12:34 PM
it's been a long time, i know.. but these days i've been talking in my mind. (not a looney! but just thinking wat i would write if my brain was my blogpage) and so, i finally got down to the computer and start typing. Hallelujah!i just need a medium to vent out, i guess. i've actually stopped blogging cause i think blogs are pathetic and depressing. but i'll try not to depress anybody though my life kinda sucks right now. (everybody else: "our life suck too u know!" me: "fine!") well, anyway, i'm feeling a bit crappy and a bit down since morning. so i thought maybe some writing could cool me down.
Ditto! (i have no idea why i said ditto but for that moment i like the sound of it being there) oh ya, first reminder, please oh please do not misinterpret whatever junk nor craps that i write in here. i don't want my blogger friends to think of me as well, a pathetic gal who needs a life. i have a life k! sorry.. just had a rough time with people thinking the worst of me lately.
anyways, today i would like the touch the topic of school. muahahahah! nah... I HATE SCHOOL~! and i know everybody els does. (everybody else: thank you for that reference! me: welcome) *i should create like a mini virtual everybody else and virtual me, u know like in Lizzie Mcguire? it'll be cool* why do i hate school? simple. cause it's depressing. my best pal added that it's pathetic too. the thought of going to school, to be there in the mist of schooling environment, just depresses me. everything i come home from school, i get so worn out and sad.
i use to love school. it's where i laugh and meet up with friends, try to understanding subjects and talking to teachers. now, i just don think i do those stuff again. sure, i study and talk to friends. but what is the use of studying in school when the teacher doesn't really care or when you're talking to a bunch of friends who talk bad about you behind your back. that part is a huge 'ouch'!
sometimes, flirting and trying to please is stupid. because in the end, the only thing that should matters is your true friends, family and God. i keep on trying to convince myself that and sometimes i back down. so, i hope writing it down will strengthen it in my mind. And ya, i love God. He's been there so many time for me. and everytime i do something wrong or run away from Him, His arms are still opened at the end of the day to receive me back. He's a good God and Jesus Christ rox! thank you, amen. and family! lolz, my brothers and i are getting onto better terms. My first bro is obsessed with the Cahills and my second brother became my biology experimental white rat! lolz, i keep poking his bones when i tried to study about form 5 chapter 2. it was fun, nevertheless. friends? i'm have a lucky bunch. Yash, Daniel, Joyce, Jireh, Elaine, Narrie and maybe William. Well, at least i'm not in the 'i hate you' list of theirs. and they're cool people. some are extra close to me aka Daniel and Yash, two are neutral-ians aka Narrie and Jireh *so tempting to sing k-i-s-s-i-n-g song here*, one is my kindred spirit who shares the same crazy button i have in my brain aka Elaine though she is slightly crazier, Joyce the one who's okay with everybody and smiles at me when i need it and Will, who is well, always with Elaine.
so many people hate me and sometimes it's so surreal! the fact that i spend all this while toying with the snakes thinking they are fun daffodils. gosh.. it is just saddening to know the amount of people who hates me. and holding it in is even harder. so many times i want to just cry out to them and say "what the hell did i do to you?!" but i know that is not the writing to do. God says forgive your enemies and I shall always have the shield of truth against the fire arrows shooting down at me. I know He's with me and i shall be strong. i have my family, God and a few friends. I should be contented. ^^
signing out,
dearest ashlyn.
and oh ya! i have my my murder partner, Narvindran too!