Forever More

Lolz. I don’t know the reason why I wrote forever more but it popped up in my mind and so I wrote it down anyway.

For this blog, I just wanna shout it out loud that I miss writing. Heck, I miss reading too! (cry) it has been such a long time and hiatus. I keep pushing it away for the sake of education but I really miss the spirit in me. I read some essays a few days back and I felt the beauty of language during then. I wondered at that moment if I could ever write something like that anymore. SPM is gruesome! It kills people (well, we see suicide every year from those who failed BM right?) and it kills my creativity (i'm not the only victim!). I no longer could write as fluently as before. I get so bored! I still have stories and scenes running through my head 24/7 as usual but when I try to write it down, I feel so discouraged. But I shouldn’t be like that right?

I still remember that it was a few days after Deepavali when I was in Form 3 when I started writing seriously. Yash and I called each other’s house phone at like 1 am, talking about the plot for FMN. Looking back, the plot had been a little silly. But it's fantastic now with a few tweak here and there. We altered it a lot. Yash has like three version of FMN. I have 2? I have 2 plots though, that I am sure, but I couldn’t write as fast as Yash so I never did reach the three version of FMN. And ya, FMN is so dear to me. I love all my characters whether they are cheesy or not. I really wanna finish it after SPM. I owe it not only to Yash –who completed FMN- but also to Hazell; she deserved an ending. Oh ya, I wanna add here too a thank-you note to those who have helped me so much in writing. I never thought I would end up being so in love with this language. For a moment just now, I felt like I was writing an acknowledgment. Gak! Whatever, I just need to vent out.

So, thanks a lot to Yash who lent me Twilight Saga, quarreled with me endlessly, taught me the beauty of English though indirectly, understood my speechlessness and of course my silly theory of aura. And oh to my other writing buddy, Narv, my little Dan Brown! Lolz, he is so caring that he’s such a dear. Of course, there are other people in my life too that mean a lot to me like my parents, God and oh ya, Daniel who is always there no matter what. ^^ God bless all of them!
I’m smiling right now as I type, u guys mean a lot to me. I want to make this blog a private one but I know I have classmates who want to read my blog though they don’t have one so for now, it is still a public one. It is good too that I don’t make it a private blog, I need to face the public, be it a nice crowd or not. I’m starting to feel a sudden rush of emotions right now. I wanted to thesaurus emotions and use another word but my dictionary is out of battery so let just forget about that. And ya, for those whom I didn’t list down their name in here, don’t worry. U guys aren’t left out. I will always remember you, whoever you are and whatever you did to me. One day, if I ever publish a book where you are one of the inspirations for my characters, betcha I’m gonna put ya name right there. Ok, maybe not since I might make you a bad guy! (;P)

I don’t know. I really don’t know. That will be my answer if you ask me what I want to do after SPM. I have my future in a rough sketch; I’m still waiting for God to darken the lines for me though. I don’t know what to do, I hope God will show me the way and I pray that He will help you guys too. I have a bad foundation in English and I need to work on that now or ok, maybe after SPM. For now, all I know is that i want to do something that is related to my passion.

I end this post with wishes of all the best to all my friends out there! May God bless you and all the best in whatever you do –and ya, I’m talking about SPM here. I love you guys!



Popular Posts